What should I plan for if I'm a caretaker for a parent?
Women outnumber men three-to-one in taking care of elderly relatives and too frequently take on the role of a caregiver without fully realizing all that they’re being asked to do. On top of assuming the role of healthcare and daily living provider, you may be expected to assume the role of financial planner, legal advisor, real estate consultant, tax planner, bill payer, etc. Family members are providing about 80% of all long-term care to the elderly in addition to working full time and raising children.
Have a Conversation with Your Parent(s)
Talk to them about what their plans are and what they have in place to provide for that. You can open up the conversation by telling him/ her about how a “friend” neglected to ask her parent about managing their finances and now she wishes she had. If you can’t start a conversation in front of them, then try writing a letter expressing your concern and interest in helping. Do they have durable powers of attorney and living wills? Where are they? Who are their advisors and who is their executor (you could find out it’s you)? The more prepared you are, the easier your care taking job will be.
Topics to Cover
Insurance Coverage—Do you have long-term health care coverage? Do you have catastrophic health care coverage? Do you have a durable power of attorney? Who are your advisors and where do they work?
Home—How much is owed on the house? What do you think it's worth? Do you want to continue living there?
Social Security—What Social Security benefits are you entitled to? How much of your spouse’s Social Security payments would you receive if he were to pass away?
Pensions—What pension benefits do you have? How about continuing payments from your spouse’s pensions?
IRAs—How much do you have in your IRA? Your spouse’s IRA?
Annuities—Do you have any annuities? If so, what is their payout schedule?
Investments—What's the full value of your investments? Who handles the investments for you? What's his or her name and where does he or she work?
Bank Accounts—Are all your bank accounts in your name and your spouse's name? If not, there will be delays in getting access to the bank accounts if one of you dies. What's the total amount in bank account(s)?
Wills—Do you have a will? Has it been updated to reflect any changes?
Trusts—Do you have a living trust to avoid probate should something happen to you? Have you considered other types of trusts to avoid taxes if your estate is worth over $1,000,000?
Prevent Burnout
It's forecasted that within three years of beginning the care giving, the caregiver is not only stressed, but is ill herself. Therefore it’s critical that women caregivers be encouraged to ask for help.
Family—Caregivers that rely on a cooperative family network report lower stress levels than those who do not. That’s why we should take time to have a family meeting to plan. We need to encourage involvement of family members in the care giving by identifying what changes would make our role easier and what tasks we need help achieving.
Community—Find out what local centers for aging have assistance available not only for the elderly but also to give support to the caregiver. You can also go online and join online support groups for caring for parents as well as dealing with diseases, such as cancer.
Work—Employers are realizing the increased demand for caring for aging relatives. Assistance often is available through the employer's Employee Assistance Program and oftentimes the flexible benefit plan includes reimbursement for elder costs or day care. Check to see if your employer has a program in place.
Professionals—Don’t be afraid to delegate some of the tasks, you don't need to do it all. Check into Community Elder Day Care programs or getting a Certified Nursing Assistant to help you maintain your home and career schedules.
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